Portal Kidnap: Jeff Dunham
by Two Sides of a Coin
Summary: First in our series, yes, self inserts. Don't like then don't read. Here, Vanessa D. and Kate V. meet Jeff Dunham and are introduced to their first portal. Oneshot. Coming soon: Portal Kidnap: Charmed.


Kate and Vanessa were just sitting at their usual spot, waiting for school to begin at the school that they go to; Birches High. They were doing their normal activities of making stories and acting them out when Vanessa asks, "What if I got Jeff Dunham here and told him you have all of his DVDs, and you're one of his biggest fans for a birthday gift?"

Kate looked at Vaness amusedly with a raised eyebrow.

"First off I wouldn't know what to say and then I would kick your butt out of embarrassment." Vanessa laughed and nudged Kate's side with her elbow.

"Oh come off it. All you have to do is ask for his autograph and you'll be a happy camper." Kate stuck her tongue out at Vanessa.

"Real mature, Kate." Then Kate smiled. Next, Kate noticed someone walking towards them and they(K&V) were in shock because it was Jeff Dunham.

_Kate P.O.V.:_

"Um... Excuse me young ladies. Do you know where the Counseling office at? I'm going to enroll my daughter in this school."

We looked at him bewildered and Vanessa slightly suspicious.

"What is Jeff Dunham doing here in this backwater place?" she demanded, not quite trusting of him, despite the fact that it was well... you know: JEFF DUNHAM. He raised his hands a little in peace and gave a small chuckle.

"Like I said before, I'm just going to enroll my daughter here and I don't know where the Counseling office is." Vanessa eyed him for a few moments before nodding slowly. I recognized a strange twinkle in her eye when she gets manipulative and nearly groaned.

"I see..." Vanessa replied with an 'innocent' smirk on her face that I've seen so many times.

"I'll tell you where its at if you. Um... Perform really quickly for my friend. She's a big fan and in two days its her birthday."

"Really..." he responded back with curiosity in his voice. "I'll be right back..."

As he left he seemed to have a weird aura about him... Like this was all a part of his plan and it seemed so evil...

"Hey, Vanessa? I don't have a very good feeling about this..." I said, for some reason nervously.

"What? Why? I mean sure it's rather strange that JEFF DUNHAM would be here, but... Seriously. What's gonna happen?" She replied with a skeptical look.

I shrugged and looked unsure.

"Well, I don't know Vanessa! But honestly! Why would he be here? Don't you think it or rather He is just a little bit suspicious for even being here?" Vanessa shrugged and gave a sigh.

"I don't know Kate.... Just go along with it. Besides, how bad could it possibly be?"

Then he came back with his big box where he kept his puppets then when he open his box some string came flying out and wrapped around me and started to drag me into the large suitcase slash box thingy.

"Vanessa! Help!" I screamed in a panicked, squeaky voice.

" Pfft. No! You think I want to be pulled into a suitcase? I'm claustrophobic." she stated somewhat proudly at the end. Which pissed me off more than getting pulled into a suitcase slash box thingy. I grabbed her leg and we ended up being pulled though his suitcase and land with a great thump on the ground, and then me and Vanessa got in a minor, I coughed,

"Yeah, cough, _minor_, cough," argument about me pulling her in with me and her not helping me. Whiiiich... Resulted in a sissy slap fight and a few broken nails. After a few minutes of this... erm... if you could even call it a fight, we finally looked around and then we both said the same thing:

"Were the fuck are we!"

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**_Demoness Notes: Hey all! Vampiress typed up this and I merely edited and added some. This is the first in our series and was in Vampiress's Pov. She had much more written and was more interesting, but her computer was re-formatted and it was all DUN DUN DUN- DELETED! We'll post each one up that is supposed to be next in the series up on the profile and have a poll eventually for what you, the readers may choose what you want to come next. Things will be figured out later. Well, crap I don't remeber what else I wanted to put up in the Author's note so I'm going to leave now. _ *sweatdrop*_**

**_Edit: So I edited the story and noticed how short and stupid it sounded so I only edited half of it (because I was being DISTRACTED*glares at Vampiress*) but hope it's better now. I'll get to the rest later though _._**

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**Vampiress notes: I really just wanted to add that i hope you enjoy reading our oneshot**


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